‘You’re making me crazy!’

I can’t count the times that these words have come out of my mouth since becoming a parent. 

Maybe you’d never dream of saying such a thing to your kids…but seriously when it’s 9 pm and ‘the boy’ still isn’t finished with his homework because he’s spent the last 97 minutes talking about how he needs to take a shower but his elbow hurts and his beloved pet lizard looks kinda’ pale and he can’t find the socks he needs for tomorrow and his sister is singing because she’s annoying and stupid and he forgot his binder at school so he can’t even do his homework…seriously……I might lose my mind.

 Up until a couple of years ago, I found myself constantly stressed, nagging, yelling, and rushing from one thing to the next. A night like the one described above would have set me off because I would have had too much to do and no time to deal with my son who just needed my patience. My schedule did not honor God and, more often than I care to admit, I was one commitment away from a mental breakdown. I needed to seriously reevaluate the pace of our family’s day to day hustle and create some breathing room in our home life. When we take a look at the life of Jesus we see that He was never frenzied or rushed. He was present. There were always more people to heal and more mouths to feed and yet He was content with the work He did in the time He had to do it. He often took time away with just the apostles or to be alone to pray rather than cramming in one more act of service or miracle. Time to build relationships with those closest to Him and quiet time with His Father were just as important as His ‘work.’ Finding and maintaining balance honors God. This requires listening to His prompting which is nearly impossible when we keep a jam-packed daily schedule. It is a tension that I have to regularly manage as my own seasons of busyness rise and fall. Here are just a few of the things that help our family create space in the everyday hustle.


  1. Make time for God daily! When I am connected and intentional about my relationship with Jesus, it spills over onto every aspect of my life. I am aware of His presence and follow His guidance.


  1.  Scheduled Downtime. I learned to fiercely guard our school nights and try to stay home as much as possible. I make an effort not to schedule more than 1 night per week to be away from home where I’m needed most. It used to be a common occurrence that I would say yes to things like meetings or dinners Sunday through Thursday. I work in ministry…definitely not your average 9-5.  For example, meeting with a couple of ladies from church on a Wednesday night to talk about an upcoming event seemed like a noble endeavor but it created an imbalance at home. My kids need their mom to be present, to help with homework (which is kind of nature’s cruel joke because I already went to school for 17 years and really didn’t think I’d need to remember any of this stuff…but I digress…) to shuttle them to and from activities and just to be around for those precious times that they decide to let me into their teenage world and tell me what their day was like. If I had been in a big-stressed-frenzied rush I may not have learned today that ‘the boy’ buys chips and ice cream on his school lunch account for his friends…like EVERY day….he’s like the Santa Clause of the 6th-grade lunch room!!! Ugh.


  1. Nutrition! I have the luxury of a really flexible part time job so I can be home most days when the kids get off the bus. At least a couple of days a week I try to have dinner ready at 4 pm. This ends the 3 hours of snacking and the rest of the night just goes smoother.  When 6 pm rolls around and a flurry of activity seems to brew…drop-offs and pick-ups from activities, homework, showers…if the kids have already had dinner, it’s one less thing for me to juggle during the ‘rush hour’ of our evening. I also try to keep sugar and processed foods to a minimum because when our bodies are fueled well, we get sick less, accomplish more, and are just nicer people to be around.


  1. Regular Self Care! When I carve out time to do things that I truly enjoy I feel whole. For me, it’s riding my horse. For you it may be running, yoga, reading, crafting, coffee with a friend, etc. Whatever it is, don’t feel guilty about it! Our culture perpetuates this strange notion that a woman who does things for herself is selfish. Nonsense. Women who tend to their hearts are more compassionate. You can’t pour from an empty cup so keep yours filled!

  1. The Selective Yes and the Polite No. What if we were self-aware enough to know just how God wired us? And what if we were in tune enough to His leading that we were able to say YES to the right things and politely decline the things that may not be our best fit? For me this concept was liberating. My staff does a lot of leadership development. Several years ago I was introduced to a few self-assessments including Strengths Finder, DiSC personality profile, spiritual gift testing, and a personal passion profile. Discovering my unique design gave me the guidance I needed to find my sweet spot. Rather than saying yes to a whole bunch of ‘good’ things that I may not have been ‘good’ at, this understanding has allowed me to focus my efforts and be more intentional in the things I pursue.


It is only when I create space and quiet time in my daily life that I am able to grow. I fully accept that I am a work in progress and will continue to work less frenzied!

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Lindsey Seelye
Lindsey has a warmth that exudes from her and is evident in all aspects of her life and within LAUGH. She shares her heart with authenticity and a deep honesty that reaches and embraces all women. Her desire to give women a safe and encouraging atmosphere, where they feel accepted just as they are, is at the heart of LAUGH. Lindsey has a gift for listening and truly hearing women. She has insight and depth in her soul that helps build the foundation of LAUGH and of relationships. She desires to help women feel connected with other women. She seeks to equip them to grasp how beautiful and amazing they are as individuals and as God’s children. Lindsey is a co-founder of LAUGH. She is a former Children’s Ministry Director, and is now the Director of Operation at her church where she uses her amazing skills daily. A wife and a mother to two fantastic kids, Lindsey keeps everyone moving forward, connecting and growing in their journeys.


  1. Thank you Lindsey I needed to hear this my/our world was turned upside down on March 13 my husband of 57 years had stumbled on the last step in our garage coming out of our house and landed on the right side of his face in the driveway that happened on February 17 he had a huge black eye but said he felt fine so we went on with life until Saturday March 11, noticed him walking a little strange on Sunday he drove us to church which I noticed considerable difference in his driving but God must have been protecting us we made it there & back home he slept most of that day and Sunday night he said I think I need to go to the Dr. (I knew something was really wrong for him to say that) so first thing Monday morning I called Dr. office for an appointment but could not get in until Wednesday so he slept most of day Monday and by supper time needed help get out of his chair to get to table for super he ate got back in Lazy Boy slept until 12:30 am got up started up stairs to bed and all of a sudden I hear can you help me he had collapsed on stairway could not move his arms or legs for some reason God had let our youngest granddaughter Morgan spend the night with us she is 18 her parents had gone out of town for a couple of days and she just didn’t want t stay alone (they live across the street from us) she had gone to bed earlier and heard us on the steps came running out of bed room between the two of us we managed to get him up and into bedroom I had told him when on the stairs I needed to get him to the hospital but he was saying ho I don’t need any hospital (he’s a very stubborn Dutch man) I call 911 he was mad I was running around throwing on some clothes fire trucks and ambulance came he then sat up in bed told them he was ok he walked down the stairs and out the front door got on the stretcher to hospital…
    It turned out he had a huge brain bleed that had formed a very large clot and started another bleed. He had emergency surgery late Tuesday afternoon was in ICU for 4 nights and on the regular floor 5 days. We are now at Mary Free Bed in GR have been here since March 23….. so my whole point in loving what you shared is remembering to take care of my self I am staying right here I do have a place to stay connected right to the hospital but try to be backroad his room every morning By 8:30 stay until 8:30pm, don’t remember to eat he hates when I leave him depends on me for everything. This is a wonderful place with very caring staff, very intense therapy about 6 hours a day. He is doing well but probably has a long way to go, his memory is not the same he gets aggravated with me which they tell me is very normal for the brain surgery he had. We will have many changes in our lives going forward even though we are old we are still very independent just having to have help is going to be huge for us. Sorry this is rather lengthy. Many thanks for the reminders. Joan Stamm


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